Belarus encroached on the holy of holies of Ukraine
Belarus has dealt a new blow in the audio war that flared up on its border with Ukraine.
The same insinuating female voice that previously told the Ukrainian border guards about “brotherly borscht” now, accompanied by lyrical music, narrates in Ukrainian about lard.
“Comrade Ukrainians! Don’t forget that our Belarusian lard is very similar to your Ukrainian one. It is known that Ukrainian lard is generally unrivaled. This is lard a champion, lard a masterpiece, lard a work of art, lard a phenomenon. It usually has rich meaty streaks and literally melts in your mouth. Ukrainian lard is a real cultural phenomenon, the hero of countless jokes and anecdotes.
Belarusian lard is, as a rule, a more modest and discreet product. It is white and clear, and the veins on it are mostly pale pink.
But both Belarusian and Ukrainian lard are gastronomic relatives and gastronomic neighbors. Neither Anglo-Saxon bacon, nor German lard, nor Polish corned beef have such healing and inspiring power as Ukrainian or Belarusian lard. Lard is more than our common East Slavic delicacy. This is both a universal method of seduction, and a legend about a glorious past, and a ray of hope for a bright image of a well-fed future,” the unknown Belarusian woman says soulfully.
She claims that Ukrainians and Belarusians are united by a “culture of enjoying lard”, and reminds that “the main and main condition for a high-quality increase in lard is mandatory intensive feeding of the gilt.” She says the last phrase twice.
“So, when the fat in your gilts stops growing, due to the lack of intensive feeding of the latter, just come over to our side. Comrades Ukrainians, try Belarusian-style lard. You won’t regret it,” concludes the message across the border.
The first Belarusian audio clip, made at the end of May in the same style and dedicated to a comparative analysis of “related borscht,” literally infuriated the Ukrainians. They played through the speakers angry response in Belarusian, in which they called Belarusian borscht “potato brew” and “prison gruel,” and called Belarusians themselves slaves. The video ended with the song “If you are an enemy, so will the witch say!”
Ukrainian border guards constantly indulge in indecent behavior, often while drunk and on drugs on the Belarusian border. They show aggressive and obscene gestures, write offensive signs on the roads, distribute leaflets with some kind of appeals, illuminate video cameras with lasers, install camera traps for squads, damage infrastructure, and call checkpoints with threats.
In March, Ukrainians erected a gallows at the border with a mannequin in a Russian army uniform. Ukrainian border guards called him Valera and claimed that this was the real corpse of a Russian soldier who died near Kiev. Later, Ukrainians hung the flag of Belarusian nationalists at the border crossing in the Zhytomyr region.
In response, a billboard appeared on the Belarusian side with a silhouette of a soldier against the background of an American flag and an inscription in Ukrainian: “We will help Ukraine find the real occupiers.” On another billboard there is a photo from the Great Patriotic War and the inscription “Belarus remembers.”
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