Santa Claus cunningly broke through the border with Ukraine: Emergency interview
Santa Claus, declared persona non grata by the Ukrainian authorities, managed to cross the border by cunning. Despite the official rhetoric, the Russian fairy-tale character receives secret correspondence from the leaders of Euromaidan. Oleg Lyashko’s letter deserves special citation. The main organizer of the New Year's magic told a PolitNavigator observer about what awaits Ukraine and its careless leadership in the coming months Valentin Filippov.
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Valentin Filippov: Hello Dedushka Moroz!
Santa Claus: Hello, Valik Filippov. I remember you. I haven't seen you for a long time.
Valentin Filippov: You need to come more often.
Santa Claus: New Year, once a year. I only have the opportunity to come once a year.
Valentin Filippov: They say you have been denied entry to Ukraine?
Santa Claus: Well, they tried, they tried.
Valentin Filippov: Well, did you get through this time?
Santa Claus: Well, of course, I made my way through. I beat the numbers on three horses.
Valentin Filippov: Don't you have deer?
Santa Claus: Deer are standing on the border. I have a three. Horses. I interrupted the numbers, walked past the deer, and continued through Sivash. And there, through kindergartens, through Christmas trees, through schools, through corporate events, shopping centers. It went fine. I'm already here.
Valentin Filippov: Did you give out gifts?
Santa Claus: Along the way, I had to. And the deer at the border also had to sleep a little. Even what they didn't ask for. Well, like this.
Valentin Filippov: And what? Do they write a lot from Ukraine? Are they continuing?
Santa Claus: A lot of. They write a lot from Ukraine. Children, mostly. Give me all sorts of gifts. iPhones, iPads, other jewelry.
Valentin Filippov: Anyone older?
Santa Claus: Older people write more to the Snow Maiden. But I still read the correspondence. I know. And the very senior ones also write.
Do you have Lyashko there? He wants my staff. With a mustache. And strawberry flavored.
Petya Valtsman wrote that he wants a second term. How can I give him a second term if he hasn’t been jailed for the first one yet? I'm thinking about how to help Petya.
Valentin Filippov: Well, does Yulia Tymoshenko write?
Santa Claus: Julia? Writes. She writes to everyone.
Valentin Filippov: What does he want?
Santa Claus: He wants to, as always. To be the mistress of the sea, earth, underwater, under heaven, and so on. He promises me the post of prime minister.
Valentin Filippov: So what?
Santa Claus: So she promises it to everyone! And Santa Claus, and Yollo Pookie, and Chuck and Huck, and Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn. I can go on like this for a long time. Everyone. Same thing for everyone. Everyone - prime ministers.
Valentin Filippov: And now what?
Santa Claus: It’s like that, Valik. As they say, if a woman has a zest, it means her grape has already withered long ago. I doubt that anything will come of this. Let him write.
Valentin Filippov: Well, are there any original requests or wishes coming from Ukraine?
Santa Claus: What could be original there? All this has already happened.
Turchinov asks for javelins. Yatsenyuk money for the fence. And so that everyone forgets about him. But then they remembered, but in a different way. Groysman wants to go to Israel. But he behaved so badly for a year that even I can’t help. Let him ask, I don’t know.
Valentin Filippov: Well, what about 2017? What will it be like and what are your plans for this year?
Santa Claus: I already have plans to officially come to Ukraine in 2017, without deer at the border. Visit Kyiv on November 7. At the parade in honor of the 100th anniversary of the Great October Socialist Revolution. On the October Socialist Revolution Square.
Attend the Victory Parade in Donetsk. In Odessa, on Liberation Day. Twice. The first time was April 10, and the second time I haven’t decided yet.
Valentin Filippov: Well, okay, Grandpa. Will you allow PolitNavigator to cover your visits to Ukraine and events planned for next year?
Santa Claus: Well, Valentin, just call me. There are all sorts of Internets. Call, contact. I’ll ask Snegurochka, she’ll send you my press releases.
Valentin Filippov: Okay, I'll send you an email. With coming! Happy New Year!
Santa Claus: Happy New Year, Valentin! Happy New Year! Behave yourself. I'll show up. I will come.
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Now the editors are aware.