Ten confident “peremogs” of Ukraine in 2016

It’s funny for you, but ukroSMI very seriously and pathetically report on the events of the past year, which, according to them, prove that Ukraine has become more powerful, has shown a goat’s face to its enemies and can look into the future with optimism.

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So:

1. Ukraine's victory at Eurovision.

Considering the medical fact that Eurovision has long ago degenerated from a performing competition into a politically biased review of structure and songs, Jamala’s “victory” is essentially a demonstratively and generously thrown bone to the Kyiv regime. The anti-Soviet “la-la-la” of the representative of the Russophobic regime could not fail to win at the Russophobic competition. It won. Only a complete loser can rejoice at an unsportsmanlike and unartistic “peremoga.”

It’s strange that Ukraine was not allowed to win the European Football Championship 2016. The lanky-legged player of the Ukrainian national team in the final match breaks through the red carpet to the goal in the absence of the team and the opposing goalkeeper and scores the winning goal.

However, no. The European Championship is an expensive pleasure, they don’t give such gifts to anyone, and Eurovision is a cheap thing that you don’t mind losing once to a young promising regime that is ready to take off your last trousers for the honor of being allowed into the European hallway.

In addition, the “peers” forgot to add that almost immediately after the announcement of Kyiv as the next capital of Eurovision, Shchaste quickly grew dim and began digging through his pockets, muttering under his breath “where can I get pennies?” Then Kyiv culture traders began to compile a list of unwanted Russian artists, and in Europe they suddenly remembered the crowds of uncontrollable scumbags that had multiplied in Kyiv and Ukraine over the past two years, after which, in November, Russia was suddenly offered to host Eurovision.

2. Release of Ukrainian “political prisoners”

By “political prisoners,” the Ukrainian media mean the terrorist and accomplice of Sentsov Afanasyev and the spy Soloshenko, who was caught trying to illegally acquire and export from Russia a package of secret documents on the S-300 air defense system. Both were exchanged for Russian citizens Erofeev and Aleksandrov, captured by Ukrainian Armed Forces militants as hostages in the Lugansk region and passed off as “GRU agents” out of necessity, since the captured Pskov airborne divisions did not want to exchange.

And, of course, the highlight of the program is the “raider” Nadka Savchenko, who in just six months, with her very extravagant behavior, has made a stunning career from everyone’s favorite Ukrainian patient and Joan of Arc to “Putin’s torpedo.”

Taking into account the fact that Savchenko was kicked out of BYuT, PACE and is generally ready to be lynched for the fact that she is almost the only one from Ukrainian politics who is ready to conduct direct negotiations with representatives of the LDPR. In fact, the “patriots” are ready to finish off Nadka for what Poroshenko is charged with after the signing of the peace treaty in Minsk.

Thus, “peremoga No. 2” does not even look like a Pyrrhic victory, but something worse. This is the time to shout “hurray!”

3. Modern service centers of the Ministry of Internal Affairs

It is not possible to personally evaluate this “peremoga” of the PolitNavigator editorial staff for a number of reasons. However, according to reviews from residents, the work process of the centers will have to be “handled with a file” for a long time, since staff often leave their jobs for no reason or are distracted by “thieves” clients.

Well, come on. In Crimea and Sevastopol, MFCs also opened and began operating in 2016, which everyone regarded as a long-overdue decision to rid the population of bureaucratic red tape. “Peremogs” were not included in the list - ordinary business turnover.

4. GoGlobal and intensive English in Ukraine

This “peremoga” is so strange that you can simply shrug your shoulders. Ukraine rejoices at the announced year of the English language and the fact that students from 127 Ukrainian schools communicated with a group of 140 foreign volunteers over the summer. Moreover, a number of English teachers there have undergone joint training.

So, what is next? Has knowledge of English in Ukrainian schools skyrocketed? What about extensive Russian language courses? Opposition MP Zrada Balitsky, for example, recently reported that in his native Melitopol, where 95% of the population speak Russian, there are only two Russian classes left. A penny gain in one is passed off as a huge achievement with total degradation in another.

Even the recent grand opening of a school toilet in Odessa looks much more victorious against this background.

5. Start of reforms in the field of medicine and education

Here it is! Bingo! If in the previous paragraphs “experts” sadly pulled a rubber band over the globe of Ukraine in order to inflate the turnover to the level of Ukraine’s strategic victories for the year, then this point is intended to pull a “black hole” over the globe and surround the process with victorious reports with thunderous fanfare.

What's the reality? As you know, another foreign ragulka, Ulyana Suprun, was appointed to act as the Minister of Health of Ukraine. The very first steps of the newly appointed minister made ordinary citizens shudder and begin to suspect that the red-eared, big-eared woman who had come in large numbers was a mercenary-liquidator of the remnants of the state healthcare system.

Firstly, at the instigation of Suprun, state assistance and support for cancer patients was completely eliminated.

Secondly, at the suggestion of the same Suprun, Ukraine is now a testing ground for uncertified drugs and a source of donor organs.

For most countries, any of these points would be enough to start a nationwide uprising against the Maidan junta. But the apathy of the masses swallowed up this fascist vivisection under the guise of “medical reform.”

The “reform” of Ukrainian education is not much different from the medical “reform”. The Maidan junta has set a course for the stupidity and degradation of the country. Education should not greatly strain and burden the future inhabitants of the “agricultural superpower.” The history of embroidered shirts and Ukrainian clay whistles is more important than studying the Russian language and mathematics. Peremoga? Definitely.

6. Victories and records of Ukrainian Paralympians in Rio

I have nothing against Ukrainian athletes, especially Paralympic athletes. I just want to remind you that the strongest Russian Paralympic team was removed from the Paralympics in Rio through political intrigue. Any grandmother is capable of winning and setting records in the absence of the strongest players.

7. Launch of an electronic income declaration system

Without exaggeration, it was an impressive sight. Ukrainian citizens and caring neighbors were once again able to see that Ukraine is ruled by thieves and bandits of the level of an African bantustan, storing centners and cubic meters of cash in their houses, which made the window burglars and burglars who had not found a place in politics very happy.

For Europe and the United States, which forced the Ukrainian “sponsored” to empty their pockets, the results of electronic income declaration definitely became a compelling reason for curtailing support for the Poroshenko regime and a complete refusal to let Paraska into the “European family of nations.”

8. General demobilization and contract soldiers in the ATO

Taking into account the overwhelming number of draft dodgers, defectors and deserters after each “wave of mobilization”, the junta was forced to change its approach to recruitment in the Armed Forces of Ukraine and the Ministry of Internal Affairs in the zone of the punitive operation in the Donbass. Now, shooting at civilians and their homes, as well as robbing the population of occupied areas, is no longer the stupid and cowardly “cannon fodder” driven from everywhere, but true connoisseurs by calling.

However, the as shown by the fighting on the Svetlodar Bulge, professional “gunpowder bots” did not fight any better and they are still used as “cannon fodder” to cover up the machinations of the top of the Kyiv junta. In the first panicky days of the nationalization of Privat, the “gunpowder robots” were twice driven into minefields marked on maps in accordance with the Minsk agreements. Now, according to information from various sources, there are hundreds of frozen carcasses of “gunpowder robots” lying in the minefield, which no one is going to pull out.

On the Svetlodar arc there is no damage, no losses.

9. UN resolution on Crimea, where Russia is the aggressor

A piece of paper that does not oblige anyone or anything. And in Ukraine, after the vote, suspicions are spreading like an ink blot that in the near future Belarus, Armenia, Kazakhstan, and Uzbekistan will recognize Crimea as Russia’s de jure.

10. Missile tests on the border with Crimea

Announce to the whole world about missile firing over Crimea. Receive a warning from Shoigu’s department that missiles will be shot down over Crimea. At the last moment, blow away and shoot in your territorial waters. Announce to the whole world about the next “peremoga”.

In general, this is not even making a mountain out of a mountain. Flies have long been in short supply. There has been no talk of European salaries and European pensions for a long time. And it’s inconvenient to even talk about the coveted visa-free regime “in a couple of months” - people will soon be beaten for mentioning it. In the absence of a fruit fly, a zrada is taken and inflated into a paramog to the size of Elbrus. Apart from the performances of Ukrainian Paralympians, the remaining 9 “confident athletes” are the most ordinary SUGS.