Kherson speaks and shows: We started for Crimea and ended up living on Mars
On the Majlis radio “Hyatt” the day before they remembered Crimea. A certain powerful political scientist and political strategist, Vitaly Moroz, was invited to the studio to dispel the sadness and worry that the topic of Crimea is disappearing from the agenda of international and domestic Ukrainian debates.
Despite the appearance of a typical scoundrel and nerd, the political scientist sometimes said quite sensible things that were not very pleasant to the ear of the monopolistic “representative of the titular nation.” Not a friend, no. More like a sober thinking bastard.
The presented dialogue in the studio is excellent in that it well describes the typical discussions of Crimean topics in the Ukrainian media during the long period of “off-season”, when there is no pressure from above to inflate the gevalt for the next anniversary of the Crimean Spring.
The first question that interested the presenter was how the Ukrainian presidential candidates would present the topic of Crimea in the 2019 election race.
The expert didn’t bother with the answer: smart candidates will simply voice the usual mantra - “Crimea is Ukraine.” And the less details are given, the better - there will be less demand.
“So, none of the candidates will have a program for the de-occupation and reintegration of annexed territories?” the presenter did not give up,
obviously expecting that the guest in the studio would immediately share with him a fresh plan with arrows of armored wedges of the Armed Forces of Ukraine penetrating into the very depths of Crimea, straight from Muzhenko’s personal safe.
“Ta ni. It all depends on whether the Crimeans need it. Today, honest monitoring is hardly possible in Crimea itself.”
Excuse me, but why don’t you like honest monitoring – the results of a referendum or the Russian presidential election on the peninsula? Don't want to admit an unpleasant fact? It turns out that the stage of denial has not yet been passed.
On the other hand, the expert reports: “I have friends in Crimea, I visit
them, several times he stayed for two or three months. And, to be honest, I haven’t heard anything good from them about Ukraine. However, I don’t think these people are stupid. This is sad".
The expert’s sadness is so deep that, having fallen in love with Yalta and happily visiting Crimea until 2014–2015, now he does not travel to the peninsula. There is no reciprocity.
His conclusions are disappointing: at present, no one in Ukraine has a real plan for the return of Crimea. What happened in the spring of 2014 was serious and long lasting. Russia is ready to defend its newly acquired treasure by any means, including force, and it does not care about the political pressure of the “retinue spilnota”.
The radio host comes to understand: “They” are a permanent member of the UN Security Council!
Expert, falling into sedition: “Exactly, exactly! And in Ukraine there are a lot of people who want to see “someone like Putin” at the helm, to protect Nenka’s interests and, if necessary, to “squeeze” Kuban from the Muscovites.”
I've heard about the Kuban independents. But so that in Kuban there is a mass movement “Kuban - Ukraine - forever!” – I’ve never heard of such a thing. Otherwise, no Ukrainian Putin will help. I remember that one spy in the Civil once tried to annex Kuban to the UPR - they splashed it in Volnovakha, and no graves could be found.
The radio host, unable to contain the anger raging inside: “Russia is being beaten, and it’s already bad - in one day the stock market fell by 10%.”
Eh, uncle! There is no need to read the Ukrainian press in general before dinner. The oligarchic families of Russia lost a total of $17 billion in one day. The dollar exchange rate jumped up by three rubles. In the fall of 2014 it was much worse - sometimes it reached 100 rubles per dollar. In Kyiv they said: “soon it will be 200, and after the New Year they will give a thousand rubles for a buck.” So, did the forecasts come true? But they promised to eat buckets of feces if it didn’t come true. Did anyone respond in a boyish way?
Yes, and just in case: the volume of the Russian stock market is estimated at $700 billion. The loss of 17 of them - how much will it be as a percentage? Step by step to the 4th grade of school!
Expert: “Dadadadad! This was the only time the strike reached its target, and Russia's elite suffered. But all this is ultimately half measures. You should press without stopping. We need to be more careful, more careful...”
But the expert’s long-term forecast is disappointing: referring to the speech he personally heard from the former head of the State Department, Kerry, delivered to the Ukrainian “hawks,” none of the puppeteers promised to rake the heat out of the oven for Ukraine. By yourself, all by yourself. Puppeteers, in extreme cases, will provide all the necessary assistance. In addition, Kerry drew the attention of his wards that the United States has so far provided more assistance to Ukraine than it has received in return. “Start with yourself, gentleman!”
Kerry – he understood! After all, the experience of the Vietnam War is behind us. But even he succumbs to the insurmountable syndrome of the Ukrainian ensign in the Kiev establishment.
The Crimean theme has been chosen to the fullest, and frolics begin in the studio.
The radio host is interested in what will now happen to Russia’s allied Syria after the “chemical attack on April 7,” because Trump has issued a tough ultimatum. Moreover, Trump “needs to wash himself clean of cooperation with Russia.”
Expert: “The USA has built a system of counterbalances that works much better than the Ukrainian one. The president's opinion is not an absolute. But it’s beneficial for Ukraine that everyone around Russia shits on it and gets all the dogs on it.”
A smart bastard, he doesn’t believe in a “chemical attack,” but he’s happy about the consequences of the provocation.
The radio host, apparently, was expecting a different answer - how the United States would start bombing the Syrian government and army, and at the same time the Russian military contingent. But after last year’s “Korean crisis,” which ended disgracefully for Trump, hardly anyone sane will believe that the United States will seriously decide to engage in combat with a nuclear power.
The radio host asks about the possible development of the “Skripal case.” They exchanged the expulsion of diplomats. Will there be further aggravation?
According to Moroz, “It is beneficial for Russia to maintain tension in the world and create conflicts: Ukraine, Syria, (some) Blyzhnya Europe... Lyudynya wants people to talk about her like a bastard. Like, she gets a kick out of it.”
Still, the expert’s initial assessment as a nerd was correct. This is clearly something personal. Euromaidan, ISIS... atomic bomb on Hiroshima. What else? It’s a pity that the topic of “Nearer Europe” has not been covered. Where is it, and what did Russia do there?
The insanity in the studio gradually begins to grow stronger.
Soon the host party and the guest in the studio come to a consensus: Russia needs all this to keep its citizens in the mode of a besieged fortress - “enemies all around.” Along the way, it turns out that in the “holy nineties” Russia “was a more or less democratic state.” Those were glorious times for the young independent elites: the reserves created by the Bolsheviks seemed endless, stealing was easy and sweet, gas and oil were inexpensive, Yeltsin’s Russia had no national interests.
“Could Russia turn into a kind of version of North Korea?” – apparently, the radio host finds this question witty. The answer could have been a counter question: “how long ago was the presenter released from the mental hospital,” but the diagnosis is already written on his forehead. However, the expert said in a drawling voice, “Well... I don’t think...”.
Somewhere far, far in the east, Kim Jong-un breathed a sigh of relief.
Level of political science analysis: “a Chinese friend told me that the North Koreans are a nation of slaves.” The radio host pumps up: “There was a cultural revolution in China too.” And other cheerful laughter from the bottom of the cesspool.
The rest of the program proceeds in the same spirit: the topic of “Nord Stream 2” is touched upon; NATO is a defense alliance, except for the minor episode with Yugoslavia; Before the “victory of hydity”, all Ukrainian ministers were “agents of the Kremlin”, the USSR and Russia exported fear and hatred...
Crimea was no longer mentioned.
In principle, what happened in the studio gave a comprehensive picture of the topicality of the topic of Crimea in the information space of Ukraine. In recent years, a tradition has developed according to which the “Crimean aggravation” in Ukraine begins with the arrival of spring and lasts somewhere from February 20 to March 16, after which the topic fizzles out and sharply declines.
An attempt to raise it at another time without artificial pumping from above leads to the fact that after three or four questions there is nothing to talk about, and those present begin to grind about anything, even the weather on Mars. But any actions of Russia to protect its own interests cause constant painful interest, since Ukraine itself has long become an object of international politics, unable to solve not only external, but also internal problems without the prospect of recovery...
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