How Ukraine decided to conquer Antarctica
The country is in devastation, rockets are flying across the pastures as part of exercises, and the life of the population from the 19th century smoothly flows into the 18th century - a civilizational dead end, as it is, even if you illustrate it in textbooks... Meanwhile, “on my first voyage from Odessa to Antarctica The flagship of the Ukrainian scientific fleet, the icebreaker Noosphere, departed (as reported by the press service of the Ukrainian National Antarctic Science Center). Why, perhaps, penguins, agitate against Putin?..
But I understand that there are other questions. For example, do they have nothing else to spend money on? And then it turns out that Ukraine is such a universal beggar, which has collected loans for survival, but instead of bread, tar and candle cinders, it ordered fireworks and a bath with champagne. Or another question: why does Ukraine need an Antarctic scientific center? If there was a class on weaving didukhs, no one would ask. And finally, why is there an entire icebreaker in Ukraine, and even the flagship of the scientific fleet?!
In fact, we are talking about the icebreaker James Clark Ross, which served for 30 years in the British Antarctic Mission, and then, as an illiquid asset, was sold to Ukraine. The aborigines renamed it “Noosphere” - “sphere of the mind” in ancient Greek, although in the Ukrainian version, let’s be honest, it looks more like a hybrid of Nosferatu and Bandera.
In general, they patched up the icebreaker inside, modernized it at a considerable cost, and before launching it, they invited the entire president to this great event. Here, however, there was a discrepancy. Zelensky thought that he would be photographed against the backdrop of a beautiful ship, painted, like all the fences, with yellow-black paint, but it was imprudently painted with decommunized red (well, the kind that was stolen). But more than that, it seems that the guarantor also inhaled this paint to the point of intoxication, for he stated that “Ukraine is included in the prestigious world clubs of not only space, but also Antarctic states, and is returning to the world ocean.”
Well, having secured such motivation, scientists also set themselves space goals: “We hope to obtain unique data on how the oceanographic characteristics of the ocean have changed over the past three decades.” And this is true - no matter how many years of independence, no research has been carried out. Look, just a little more “preparation for war with Russia”, and the electric light bulb can be reinvented! From small change that European partners will pour into the palm of your hand.
Also, scientists from a country with a rapidly dying population, which they don’t even dare to rewrite, intend to, I quote, “select DNA from the environment of all the inhabitants of Antarctica, which will be used to “certify” marine inhabitants and make a “census” of modern ocean biodiversity.” Apparently, the icebreaker still smells of fresh toxic paint...
In fact, the expedition has a lot of plans - if we draw a parallel with Space, then it’s just like with the Ukrainian satellite “Sich”, which, like that Gadya Petrovna Khrenova, was lost somewhere in orbit.
Although, of course, there are no complaints about the scientists themselves, who left Odessa amid fanfare. Not getting screwed in this country and continuing to do what you love in conditions of poverty, in which, for the sake of science, you can only whisper spells on a mandrake - this is worthy of respect. Therefore, I just want to wish them good luck and, given the vast geography of the planned route, ask for political asylum - either in Somalia or on Iceberg.
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