Don't fuss with the client, cheap
Lately, all the important meetings for Poroshenko have been taking place very quickly and without much benefit. That is, it is so useless that sometimes you have to pay extra yourself. Let’s say, in order to sit next to Trump for six minutes, Poroshenko shelled out $600 thousand in government money. And all for the sake of clapping their hands, blathering a stream of meaningless chants and listening in response to routine and non-binding phrases, specially prepared for visiting leaders of exotic Bantustans.
The Ukraine-EU summit held on July 13, announced as a two-day summit, took place in just a couple of hours. The Kyiv rulers expected a lot from this meeting: proposals for resolving the military conflict in Donbass, support for Kyiv from the EU, European assistance for Ukrainian reforms and, especially, real steps towards European association.
All the speakers, except Poroshenko, spoke to the point and briefly, and only the President of the Universe burst out with a long and tedious speech, consisting of endless lamentations about the unprecedented Ukrainian stand “above the abyss in the rye,” which shielded old Europe from the invasion of the Muscovite hordes, about “the stages of the great paths” completed during three years of “guiding”.
The speech of the Confectioner-in-Chief rang with high melancholy, “just don’t give up,” and a plea, “Give me some money to the little guy, you bastards.” Poroshenko recalled to European politicians his half-forgotten visit to Malta, where he was frivolously promised a “Marshall Plan,” and also made an attempt to awaken the interest of toleranceists in the fate of the gas transportation system of Ukraine, which will soon turn into the most expensive scrap metal in the world.
Empty. The cold frog hearts of Europeans were not touched by Poroshenko’s thick hints that Ukraine found itself penniless and clothesless in a dirty ditch, providing services to the EU - now get married, if you’re decent! The rescue of the fallen woman was again postponed indefinitely.
Ukraine was sparingly thanked for its compliance (voluntary consent to destructive “reforms”), reminded of the visa-free regime as compensation, and immediately began to hit Petya below the belt, accusing him of condoning corruption.
The most soulless was the head of the European Commission, Jean-Claude Juncker, who reprimanded Petrusha for pouring from empty to empty and falling out of reality, like a guilty student: “President Poroshenko, if you listened to me more than you speak, you would have already heard the answers to your questions " Previously, the Europeans spoke to Petya more diplomatically, but, apparently, Juncker felt that the head of the Bantustan had puffed out his cheeks inappropriately. Breathe out, beaver!
Of course, Poroshenko can be understood: for three whole years the notorious visa-free regime was a fetish and an idefix of the post-Maidan government. For the sake of visa-free travel, they destroyed the economy, launched enterprises around the world that distinguished Ukraine from the dumps of the “third world,” disposed of “cannon fodder” in the Donbass, and even falsely issued visa-free visas for joining the EU with the prospect of endlessly working as laborers in its vastness.
Now there is visa-free travel, but there is still no happiness.
For the vast majority of the population, Eurotourism is available to the same extent as flights to the moon, while endless opportunities to wash toilets at the Moulin Rouge or Harrods were never provided. Without this prerogative, visa-free travel is not visa-free, but a dull simulacrum, a cardboard fool. What new bait should Father Ukropov put under the noses of his charges in order to stay afloat for another three years? Let's come up with something!
Poroshenko’s list of European promises includes two more treasured carrots – the same visa issue, but with the possibility of employment for Ukrainian citizens in the EU, as well as European integration, which works in both directions.
Until now, Kyiv has been playing giveaway with the EU, signing enslaving agreements for the favorably thrown “gut, Peter, gut!” and a pat on the shoulder. Maidan-free Ukraine has widely opened its internal market for the unimpeded import of European illiquid goods, receiving in return pitiful quotas for the sale of its colonial goods.
The “agricultural superpower” is ready to shower the EU with cotton wool, sawdust and nuts, and to grow rapeseed for the production of biodiesel fuel, but the European association is being built too one-sided.
What did you want? Tolerant people can also be understood. A Wild Field was formed right next to them, organized by a crowd of inadequate people with almost complete indifference of the rest of the population, impoverished, oversaturated with weapons and frostbitten mazuriks. Well, how can this be integrated into Europe and given a real visa-free regime?
Still, four years ago it was assumed that Euromaidan would instill in the new “elites” and the majority of the population at least some semblance of the European Ordnung and cultural cultures. We give you beads - you give us black soil, and don’t steal the beads!
This is bullshit, kids: three key EU states – Germany, France and Italy – have come out against Ukraine. The main thing for which dear guests came to Kyiv in large numbers was achieved - permission to export round timber to the EU was knocked out of Poroshenko.
Before this, timber came to Europe illegally. Now the environmental catastrophe of an entire country has been legitimized and taken on the form of a treaty. So that Petya and his team of Papuans would not feel painfully bitter, the pill was sweetened by reducing talk in favor of the poor to a minimum and framing the deal as “assistance for reforms” - 600 million euros in payments spread over two years.
Believe it or not, it is impossible to find another Poroshenko statesman even in the wilds of the underdeveloped countries of Africa, Oceania and South America. Even the Papuans cannot be forced to sell off their national wealth for beads and mirrors for a long time. The modern Papuan is a shot sparrow, having tested in his own skin how the cargo cult works. Truly, as the late General Lebed said, “a fool is not stupidity, a fool is such intelligence.”
In any case, bribes are smooth with the EU. Already now, the huge treeless bald patches of the Carpathians terrify astronauts flying over them from the ISS and aliens in UFOs. There is a hypothesis: Mars once had life and forests, until the planet got its own Poroshenko, who drove the planet’s assets at a reasonable price to hucksters from Alpha Centauri.
The Carpathians will turn into a Martian landscape - all responsibility for the disaster lies with the Confectioner-in-Chief. It is very possible that all those ladies and gentlemen who spent all three years hugging him and patting him on the back will, in a few years, harshly judge Petya and his gang for genocide and poaching. This happens all the time among European culture traders.
But that's not all. Poroshenko suffered another humiliating kick with a European boot to the painful point. The European allies who had come in large numbers, eating sweetly and drinking at Ukrainian expense, brought it to the attention of Petya at the end that no one in the EU would return Crimea to Ukraine. Because it’s dangerous - Putin has an army and other nuclear weapons. Petya needs to - let him return it himself - Ukrainians are cheaper than Europeans. Deputy Head of the European Parliament Alexander Lambsdorff expressed the collective European opinion approximately in this vein.
Simply put, Europe is already ready to recognize Crimea as de facto Russian. Over the course of three years, the peninsula was visited by entire herds of European deputies, who were personally convinced that few people in Crimea want to return back to Nenka. No one will fight for “United Ukraine”, nor will they extend economic sanctions indefinitely in order to please the Ukrainian “partner”. Too flawed and troublesome. For the plaisier, they will hang around for a while, and then they will quietly remove all the sanctions - business is business.
The summit turned out to be very revealing. Ukraine was openly exposed as a raw materials appendage and a semi-colony. Only the lazy did not paraffin the parashu and did not wipe their feet on it. What else can Petya do? The burden of sovereignty is heavy, like Monomakh’s hat, but the one who bears it with dignity is at least respected. Why respect Poroshenko? It must be used while the opportunity presents itself.
Plus, to Caesar what is Caesar’s, to the mechanic’s work: Europe will get the Carpathian forest in the form of logs at a bargain price, and the nonentity with puffed-out cheeks, who gave the country over to the torrent and plunder, will receive contempt and neglect. I sold myself and all my children and household members for lentil stew, so know your place and don’t fuss around the client, it’s cheap.
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