Shooting rubber duckies - spoiler for Independence Day in Odessa
- Mom, are we being bombed?!
- No, they are rehearsing for the parade.
Although morally, of course, they were bombed a long time ago...
So, for a week Odessa has been preparing for the intergalactic celebration of the 30th anniversary of Ukraine's independence. “It’s as if strange people are playing the same game together”: they wash the asphalt with shampoo, scrub off all sorts of words from Shevchenko monuments, hang a yellow-blakyt flag on the Vorontsov Lighthouse, because Duke in an embroidered shirt is not enough for them.
But the main thing is to demonstrate military power, which will certainly defeat the enemy (purely in visual terms) at the parade of naval forces on August 24. Because of this, the city is periodically shaken by sounds that frighten children, and in the language of the military this is called “practicing salvos from guns and setting up a smoke screen.”
The roar from the sea and from the sky is so loud that houses shake, but the view from the beaches pretty much spoils the intimidation event, exposing its essence: inflatable buns with bananas and raguli running from the corners, from behind which coast guard boats are periodically visible. Although, at the last joint exercises, NATO gave so much of their second-hand goods to poor relatives that they could have launched some half-dead aircraft carrier for a picture.
“Where is this American junk? — Vacationers are perplexed. “They stole it and sold it for scrap, as always.”
But how it sounds! “The ceremonial passage of warships, the flyover of aviation, the display of air, sea and statistical weapons and military equipment”, - wow! I wish I could launch rubber ducklings, like for babies in the bathtub, and then gasp and gasp: “Get ready for the kavuns before the shooting, please!” Kukuruzu in znaryadya vantazhimo, pl!”, well, or whatever they say?
I remember in 14 the idiots installed anti-tank hedgehogs on the beaches. I must say that in this whole “du Soleil” rehearsal in the drug treatment department, it’s precisely the anti-tank hedgehogs that are missing...
But nothing - this year’s military misery is skillfully disguised by the breadth of its scope.
A program for celebrating independence from common sense at the level: speed food, dogs in embroidered shirts, pellets of pigeon droppings at exhibitions of Ukrainian folk crafts and other ritual actions of a meaningless nature.
The Vyshyvanka Festival has already begun, which traditionally ends with a car rally, at the forefront of which is invariably a jeep with the number “666”, which drives around the city on May 2 and 9, including fascist marches.
For your information:: now the owner of this jeep, the head of the local Automaidan, a racketeer and a scumbag Evgeniy Rezvushkin is in a pre-trial detention center for extortion on an especially large scale.
The festive concert of the Odessa Philharmonic Orchestra with the participation of People's Artist of Ukraine, pianist Alexey Botvinov has already died down.
For your information:: in 2014, together with his late friend and colleague Alexander Roitburd, Botvinov created so-called Forum of Odessa intelligentsia, explaining the impulse as follows:
“After May 2, when the situation was difficult in Odessa, we came up with a forum to unite the part that was pro-Ukrainian, because there were voices from Russia that Odessa was all pro-Russian”.
But these did not agree, they just spat on the Russian world and began to paint and solo with renewed vigor.
They will already throw out the cry “Get ready for the embroidered lantsyug!” These slackers all dream of creating a long human chain of people in embroidered shirts in order to get into the Guinness Book of Records.
For your information:: last year the action never took place due to the lack of participants, although they were even promised to feed them for free.
Screens have already been installed at Duke, from which Zelensky will congratulate many people on the holiday for several days, while Odessa residents will close the windows.
For your information:: a year ago, many people walking in large numbers didn’t even hide the fact that they were in Covid quarantine, and since their place of registration didn’t allow them anywhere, so they came to Odessa to cough. Let me also remind you that later these festivities backfired with an outbreak of morbidity and the emergency sending of schoolchildren and students to distance learning. However, the country’s authorities did not connect this with the regulatnik and preferred to blame the authorities of Odessa for the epidemic - this, they say, is because you celebrated City Day on September 2 en masse. Although there was no longer a “rural” mass presence - professional Ukrainians had left, and they were not interested in events without manure and language. And by the way, if you think that this year will be somehow different, then I assure you, you are mistaken.
It is not known for sure whether Zelensky himself will arrive - although what kind of demonstration of military equipment is there without the commander-in-chief? Moreover, a gay pride parade on the occasion of Independence Day is planned in the city. And at the same time, the March of Defenders and Patriots of Ukraine is when, due to a misunderstanding, criminals who are not yet in pre-trial detention centers walk the streets and shout that May 2 is Victory Day.
Well, the most long-awaited performance is, of course, the race in embroidered shirts. According to the organizers, one and a half thousand athletes and amateurs wearing embroidered shirts will cover distances of five and ten kilometers. And, according to the organizers, all of them will be given another embroidered shirt after the race. 1500, can you imagine how many embroidered shirts - Chinese, probably paper, for the dead. Well, well done, ah, well done!
The program for celebrating the 30th anniversary of independence is so ideal that there is not even anything to complain about... I will only note, as a grumbler, that it is time to reach a new level. In other words, why simply run for Ukraine if you can poop for Ukraine? Then the whole world will definitely know about it. In addition, they will give you an embroidered shirt.
I think I just accidentally came up with the formula for the national idea of Ukraine. Phew, finally.
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