Petro from Lvov: “I won’t come to Odessa again!”
This is a note on the topic “Whose cow would moo?” And, indeed, it’s not like the unwashed one, who washes his trousers right in the sea, runs from the “tsunama”, begs from vacationers “a ruble for ice cream” (can’t even remember that they have “hryvnia”), demands to carry himself “to Arcadia ”by the nearest concrete mixer and is invariably sent to the cemetery when trying to find out “de uzviz”... So it’s not for him to talk about dirty Odessa. Or maybe we deliberately spread dirt so that all this trash doesn’t come to us? Perhaps that’s why there are no buoys on the beaches, so that guests who come down from the smerek can swim freely—relax, so to speak, without boundaries. To the song “Dorozhnaya” by the band “Leningrad”.
And, nevertheless, the Svidomo network segment is vomiting from an article by a certain Lviv resident Pyotr Yatsenko entitled “Why I won’t go to Odessa anymore and won’t take my money there.” Money, you know? Now, if instead of “money” it was “I won’t take my lice there,” it would still be possible to feel inspired, otherwise...
In short, the author talks about how it’s expensive to vacation in Odessa, but at the same time it’s dirty, there are “disappointed hedgehogs” lying around, the Russian world is everywhere - there’s no need to go here, it’s better to go to Turkey. Although, damn it, there is a Russian world there too. Ambush.
We know, we passed. Just look at the Freudian hysteria of Lvov TV presenter Ostap Drozdov, who visited Odessa and near Odessa last year. And then he said, as if he had atypical PMS, aggravated by heat stroke:
"Relax in Ukraine." With whom? With “fellow citizens” who, you know, “Corn!” They go and sell, God. This is something terrible, the wild Soviet Union. My ears are bleeding. Their Russians are the best, their Putin is a big man. There is a real Chernobyl there, radioactive. “Come on, let’s listen to the chanson now.” We’ll listen to the chanson at full volume, because we’re on the beach, and they brought us corn, so you’ll choke on this corn!”
Greatest Hits. You can't beat the classics. And yet, let's briefly analyze the new dissatisfied Lviv resident based on quotes - he also tried.
“For five years I took my family on vacation to the Odessa region. The first time after the occupation of Crimea there was actually a patriotic impulse - to support the domestic manufacturer.”
What “domestic”, Petro? Where is Lvov, where is Odessa - have you completely confused the shores? You even deleted “fatherland” from the Great Patriotic War.
“It was sincere and inexpensive. We forgave the lack of infrastructure, changing cabins, lifeguards, jellyfish nets, buoys, etc.”
At the mention of “jellyfish net” I got an electric shock. We realized that guests from the “wild west” come to Odessa to kill all living things - they chase these unfortunate jellyfish as if they had legs, for some reason they rub them under their arms and in their swimming trunks, sometimes they eat them. True, in the 21st century it was only when culture from Lviv went to the masses. But surprise is known to stimulate creativity. And as for the infrastructure... But this is no longer a matter of Odessa - your entire infrastructure ended at the catapult on Grushevsky. There definitely won’t be another one for another hundred years, do you think, Petro? And then they “forgave”.
Then Petro writes that over time he decided to change the hotel - well, of course: Marlon Brando decided to move from island to island due to insufficient mother of pearl on the shells, make boats out of dollars and rest...
“The hotel was well maintained. There was no “eat room”; instead there was a shared kitchen, but a modern one.”
Well, you understand - I cited this quote only because of the “idalka”.
“I was struck by the abandoned railway station. She was drowned in garbage,” an indignant representative of a long-recognized brand called “Lvov Garbage”, from which the whole country smelled fragrant just a few years ago.
“When the amount of money I brought to Odessa began to reach tens of thousands of dollars, I began to think. The period of support for domestic producers was coming to an end. I wanted to see what this manufacturer could now offer me.”
Further, the author listed that he needed comfort, a full belly, cleanliness... And, you know, this is the first time when I regretted that I was not a video blogger, because in this place I would have homerically screamed at the camera, and when I would have had an attack laughing, said: “Ragul and “ten thousand dollars” - it’s like me in the Lviv “Kryiivka” with the question “Where are the Budenovkas?” And the Earth is not square either, Petro, why are you whistling?
“It’s gotten worse,” the Lvovite continues to broadcast, without finding a cause-and-effect relationship with the “revolution of dignity.” - We found a dead person - a man choked or died of a heart attack. There was no one to save him. There are only sad remnants of the lifeguard stations on the beaches.”
Soviet, Petro, remnants, Soviet. On the municipal beaches, of which, thanks to the brave seekers of golden toilets, there are almost no more. And on private ones, Petro, the “rescuers” want to save, they want not - depending on the card. If, let’s say, you and some busty girl are drowning at the same time, then the situation will definitely not work out in your favor. Especially if you're still yelling “Help!”.
In general, having realized “all this Hell,” the Lviv resident came to the conclusion: “This year we went to Turkey. They took forty thousand hryvnia for three. We were also lucky because Putin did not allow Russians into Turkey.” He writes about the “luxury hotel” and advises his fellow tribesmen - everyone should go there, not Odessa!
Although in Turkey he managed to sniff out the evil: “The only negative is that the guides of the Ukrainian travel company are from Lugansk and communicate only in Russian.” No matter the hour, he will even find a dead hedgehog in a cheburek.
But Petro turned a blind eye to the “Lugansk mafia”, remembering the misadventures in Odessa: “The young “administrator” responded to my “come to Lviv, it’s beautiful here too,” and said: “What haven’t I seen in this Lviv of yours? Our culture is in St. Petersburg. It’s beautiful there.”
And then I fall silent and take off my hat to Peter, because I am powerless in the face of talent. And Peter has a clear talent for sensing the truth.
Well, and “Road” at the end, “Leningrad”, right?
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