You’ve done the job - jump boldly: New “masterpieces” of the Ministry of Justice
Everyone is probably familiar with the caustic meme “a girl can leave the village, but the village cannot leave the girl”, branding “ponyakhs” from the periphery to the capital, who stubbornly do not part with their bullish manners.
It seems that in the sixth year of “European integration,” the collective Goebbels, represented by the Ministry of Information Policy of Ukraine (or Minstets), began to guess something. For example, why is Nenka still not allowed into Europe, despite titanic efforts and sacrifices? The Bulgarians and Romanians are allowed in, but the representatives of the ancient Sumerian civilization, which stood in the way of the Muscovite hordes, are still kept in a black body in the hallway.
The epiphany was preceded by painful introspection and comforting theories. First of all, Moscow has not allowed Ukraine into Europe since ancient times. Even when Moscow did not exist even as a forest village. These were the long arms of the Kremlin, extending their stranglehold across centuries and millennia. “The damned Stalin reached out.”
Then, Eurocentric adherents of “national purity”, who love to remake other people and study other people’s red blood cells under a microscope, found out that the gene pool of the Ukrainian nation was hopelessly spoiled by three hundred years of living together with Russia, as well as seven decades of being in the USSR.
Therefore, for their own benefit, it is necessary to kill more Ukrainians while howling about the “Holodomor”, but then they will say thank you. And in order to consolidate the European experience, it would be nice to fall under the protectorate of some authoritative and, preferably, rich Western power. For example, the USA or Germany. Ukrainians were under-Europeanized in their time - now let them fiddle around, wipe their noses and bear the white man’s burden.
Now the cultural wanderings of Ukrainian propagandists have led them to understand the thoughts voiced by the “adequate” 5 and 14 years ago, when hyperactive giants started grandiose races on the Maidan in order to get into the European Union in one giant leap.
The “adequate people” taught: if every Ukrainian starts with himself - starts being polite to others, stops stealing, being a bully, giving and taking bribes, observing laws and cleanliness, improving the space at least around himself, stops simply shitting in the entrances and gateways, then one day he will wake up in Europe. And the horse races, the stench of blazing garbage heaps and the yellow snow of the Maidan are a sure shot at Skakua - New Guinea.
The hyperactive giants, in turn, were not going to listen to the voice of reason. To follow some rules, to be polite - it’s all difficult, boring, and in general, they are different and are ready to behave decently if they get straight to Europe. There must be some simpler and faster ways. And in general, Europe within Ukraine was not as interesting to them as Ukraine within Europe in any capacity. Even in the role of a scrubber or a concubine. You can even combine both of these functions.
And so, the Ministry of State came to the conclusion: all simple methods have been tried, what remains is a previously underestimated option - to expel the village from the girl. What if it helps?
To this end, right before the New Year, a presentation was held in the Ministry of Culture under the motto “Europe begins with you.” Three social videos posted on YouTube were chosen as a way to influence the masses, telling people about Europe and its enduring values.
The European product was represented by the constant blah-blah-khanum and the “supervisor” from Chubarov - Dzhemilev in the Minstets, Emin Dzhaparova.
According to Dzhaparova, the videos will tell citizens in “everyday language” that “you can travel around Europe, work and study, share its values, but European Ukraine begins with each of us, and in absolutely everyday things - how we take care of the environment, clean behind us, we park, we behave on the road, and so on.”
The Ministry of Culture invited popular Ukrainian performers to promote European values in the wider community: the electronic music group MOZGI, pop music from “Time and Glass”, as well as the exotic Ukrainian singer of Bolivian origin Michelle Andrade.
In the first video, the MOZGI group collectively taught Ukrainians to clean up their trash after a barbecue picnic in nature.
In the second, the girl Michelle was picking up empty coffee glasses from the parking lot, thrown away by the owner of a pretentious European car.
But they were all outdone by the third video, in which Time and Glass were picking up poop from the lawn behind the dog Rosemary, who was taken for a walk by a pretty lover of Europe.
I don’t know what audience this whole farce is intended for, but I just have a suspicion that polite and neat people don’t need this instructive crap, and to motivate the Selyuks, truisms in video format will not be enough.
Speaking of dog poop. I remember that exactly the same social videos were used to bring Europe closer in the Baltics. Judging by the results, if the Baltic states and Europe, then its most remote and mossy corner. Distant farm.
In addition, Dzhaparova did not behave very Europeanly at the presentation, hiding from those present how much all these instructive video tutorials for mental retardation cost taxpayers. There is no transparency!
I would like to note in parentheses that a self-made video that appeared on YouTube in February 2014, calling on the inhabitants of European Kolomyia with a running LED line to “don’t piss and don’t piss in the podyizds” motivated much more abruptly, causing demonic laughter in an unprepared person.
In general, the advanced disease of Svidomo political leaders cannot be treated. Instead of starting with themselves and becoming a role model, they intend to correct the bad people with stupid videos, offering them simple recipes for improving karma, promising to soon get to Europe. “We must try harder!”
Instead of systematic and everyday efforts of the entire society, people are invited to become Europeans simply by replacing themselves as street cleaners. A magnificent example of square-nested bureaucratic thinking!
And it’s not at all clear how to contrive to Europeanize the bosses. The same Poroshenko, and the entire vertical of power. Otherwise, the population will get used to cleaning up the dirt from the dogs, and the authorities will continue to steal, crap in the country where they live, and be exemplary rural boars. It's a flaw!
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