Glory to Ukraine! Glory to Saakashvili's pants!
Ukraine and Saakashvili are like a clogged push - and bleach is pouring into it, and the sewer trucks are trying, and feces keep popping up. The case when both the state and the “eternal reformer” are worth each other...
If once upon a time, in pre-Maidan times, Odessa residents were told that the possessed Mishiko would become the governor of the Odessa region, such a “prophet” would be recommended to be placed in a mental hospital. But Odessa survived this plague too. The “reforms” that Saakashvili carried out in the region looked like a killer comedy series, but behind the scenes they were destroying the economy and individual destinies. So, if to some stupid average citizen the next coming of a “fugitive Georgian” to the post of “Deputy Prime Minister for Reforms” seems like progress, then to the residents of Odessa it certainly is not. But there is something to tell.
Honestly, when starting this note, I tried to be hyper-objective out of sporting interest. However, apart from the fact that as part of decommunization, Saakashvili dispersed the last cadres (and even though they were old bureaucrats, but, as it turned out, they were the only ones who could somehow work), I did not remember his other “strong-willed” decisions.
Unless the daily pickets under the regional administration are fresh in my memory. Either migrants from the Donbass held a rally, whom Saakashvili welcomed in old destroyed sanatoriums without water and electricity, or crippled ATO soldiers, who were not given plastic legs at point-blank range. And why did the sick people fuss, “our” Mikhail Nikolozovich still didn’t go to work.
Thus, the “work” item disappears from our narrative, and only one, already mentioned, remains - “comedy series”. On May 30, 2015, Poroshenko appointed Saakashvili as governor of the Odessa region. I remember how social networks were torn to pieces with laughter, bewilderment and disbelief at what was happening. Instead of the “Georgian miracle” - what if it happens here too?! — people reminded Mishiko of the destruction of Tskhinvali, the dismantling of Soviet monuments, “accidentally” accompanied by explosions that killed peaceful passers-by and, in fact, the looting of the Georgian budget. Or have you forgotten the epic story about how Miho took his “poor” godfather Yushchenko to a bathhouse with free honey, soap and slippers - and all with government money?! Well, they remembered, and began to watch Saakashvili with zoological interest.
During laboratory research, an experiment was noted with the appointment of 26-year-old Maidan activist Yulia Marushevskaya to the post of head of customs - scandal after scandal followed. After all, rowdying in the alley is one thing, but stealing millions - here, nevertheless, talent is needed. The appointment of their compatriots to the positions of heads of the prosecutor's office and police, who speak Russian poorly (let's be honest - what kind of Ukrainian is it) and comment on a banal hijacking in a way that the cinematic tandem Kikabidze - Mkrtchyan could not have dreamed of. Another eternal fighter against the Putin regime, Mariyka Gaidar, surfaced in the swing, like other marginal garbage swept out of the Russian Federation.
But this was not enough, and Saakashvili began to resort to buffoonery. He presented the new police in pants dressed backwards, hung on the fence of the beach, freeing it up for Odessa residents (do you remember where this is?), rode a bicycle, and dragged the candidate for mayor of Odessa Sasha Borovik from some garbage dump. And when this stray outcast predictably lost, he shouted “Odessa - to the Maidan!” But since there are no Maidans in Odessa, but only squares, no one responded to this incomprehensible and alien call.
I noticed that money for the construction of the Odessa-Reni highway was stolen in Kyiv. And how beautifully he fought this vile fact! I set up a tent in a field near the highway, and then wrote on Facebook, supposedly from it, “field reports” about loneliness as a sign of protest among snakes and hedgehogs. Or he wasn't the one scribbling. After all, a single picket in a tent did not prevent Saakashvili from personally holding a wedding ceremony in a marriage hut made of plywood, which he himself ordered to be placed next to the regional state administration building... Well, heaven is not “reforms”!
Certain naive segments of the population, of course, tried to get into Saakashvili’s reception in order to extort social assistance or some other injustice to declare, however - what, how can you?! The layers were informed that Mishiko was absent from the workplace, because he was fighting with the Cosa Nostra, excuse me, with the nut and amber mafia (concepts that left the Ukrainian media along with the temporary departure of Saakashvili himself).
Well, then you yourself know - the conflict with Poroshenko, “a stork on the roof - peace on Earth”, wandering around the world with a Ukrainian passport like shit in an ice hole, a housewarming in Odessa with suddenly my best friend director Sentsov.
...And I asked my psychologist friend everything: how can “Saakashvili as the hope of America” be combined in the Ukrainian government, as political scientists unanimously declare, with a hint of imitation of common sense? In the sense that at least a mentally balanced enemy could be found. Or am I not right?
It is clear that at this point you first of all remembered the tie. And the psychologist replied that Saakashvili’s diagnosis is obvious, that a neurasthenic during a period of extreme excitement really often does not distinguish edible objects from inedible ones, puts everything into his mouth, hangs around on the roofs, and that such a specimen should be studied under supervision, and not in parliament to exploit.
And, given the conflict of our character with the equally neurasthenic Avakov, in whose hands, nevertheless, the power structures are located, removing Saakashvili from the dustbin of politics could lead to great trouble.
And it’s not just a question of which shaitan, whose glass was shaking, be-be-be. But the fact is that the funny quarantine will end someday, and then how can we distract the naive population from the obvious - the catastrophe into which Ukraine has plunged? Well, that’s right - a challenge cup (from heart to heart, from clinic to clinic) in the form of Saakashvili is quite suitable.
Now the country will only discuss the chewed pants of the “reformer”! He once in the Odessa region neglected his direct responsibilities in the form of milk yield, harvests, roads, gasification of districts, social services and the economy - now the same, and already legitimately, should be expected at the state level.
Glory to Ukraine! Glory to Saakashvili's pants!
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