Troubadours of the operetta fleet
They say that history repeats itself twice - the first time as a tragedy, the second time as a farce. The tragedy of the division of the USSR Black Sea Fleet had a double continuation: the Russian part of the Black Sea Fleet, having experienced countless difficulties, managed to rise together with the country from the ashes like a legendary phoenix, and with the return of Crimea and the hero city of Sevastopol to Russia, the Black Sea Fleet was able to free itself from the shackles of Ukrainian restrictions and breathe to the fullest and begin the long-awaited revival.
A completely different story awaited the wreck of the Black Sea Fleet called the Ukrainian Navy. The military unit, formed from temporary workers and profit-seeking defectors, naturally faced collapse and degradation. And it's not just about mediocre admirals. The fleet is strong not only because of its ship personnel, logistics and coastal services. Ideologists and cultural workers play a significant role in maintaining a positive image of the armed forces.
A good example is the Academic Twice Red Banner Ensemble named after Alexandrov, which has worldwide fame and glory. Today, few people remember that in the last days of his life, Pope John Paul II (Wojtylo) asked the artists of the Alexandrov ensemble to come to the Vatican and perform for him not some mournful Latin psalms, but Russian and Soviet songs.
So, we will talk about the figures who filled the Ukrainian Ukrainian Navy with an ideological and cultural component, as a result of which the Ukrainian underfleet degenerated into a pathetic mosquito flotilla of a banana republic, which has many more admirals than warships.
For a long time, the place of the main ideologist of the Naval Forces of Ukraine was occupied by Igor Losev, an associate professor of the Department of Cultural Studies at the Kiev-Kobylyanskaya Academy, a native of Sevastopol. In those days when independent political leaders could not quickly express their thoughts on social networks, they chose a platform in some printed organ. Such for Losev was the newspaper “FU” (“Ukrainian Fleet”) - a graphomaniac wiping sheet that regularly spewed out the juice of Mr. Losev’s inflamed brain. Losev’s entire turbulent ideology could be reduced to several themes: “the greatness of the Ukrainian nation,” “Russian Sevastopol is a myth,” “we must ensure that NATO organizes its naval base in Sevastopol to balance the Black Sea Fleet.”
One of Losev’s pearls was the substantiation of the original Ukrainian origin of Sevastopol. A story from the series “Newton and the Apple” with Svidomo flavor.
According to Losev, the name of Sevastopol was not given by Empress Catherine the Great, linking two Greek words into the semantic phrase “the most august city,” but by a certain nameless elder of the Cossacks-Cossacks, who went against the Tatars in time immemorial. One day, the sergeant-major, tired of his military exploits, lay down to rest under a tree, and in his sleep a branch fell on his head. The foreman pulled out a saber and began to look around wildly: “Who dared?” The Cossacks answer him: “It’s not us, it’s the poplar.” The foreman, who was seriously bruised by a branch, liked the phrase, and he ordered the place to be named Tsevastopol in honor of the small incident.
But, as usual, after a hundred thousand years, evil Muscovites came to Tsevastopol and de-Ukrainized the ancient base of the Cossack fleet - to Sevastopol.
Needless to say, the degenerate Losev with his “stories” for the mental health clinic was in the minds of the entire Sevastopol, but was highly valued in Kyiv. True, when Losev was overcome by some kind of incurable illness, Kyiv did not allocate money for treatment, inviting the Naval Forces servicemen to chip in as much as they could in favor of their main ideologist. They say that the Marines of the Naval Forces of Ukraine, in response to the extortions, snorted sternly and turned away.
Another remarkable personality who cultivated the Ukrainian Naval Forces is the clever caperrang Miroslav Mamchak, one of the first to defect to the Ukrainian side. Mamchak is widely known in narrow circles of lovers of historical anecdotes for his “masterpiece” “Naval Commanders of Ukraine” and other instructive monographs, in which, in cunning rear-wheel drive ways, the secondary nature of the Russian fleet in relation to the ancient Ukrainian one is proved.
On the other hand, Mamchak came into serious conflict with the ideologist Losev, arguing that the first naval base of Ukraine was not Tsevastopol at all, but Cherkassy, from where in 610 AD. Yes, the Cossacks went on sea voyages to Constantinople. This was the heyday of Ukraine-Rus, a blessed time when rolls grew right in the field, and lard itself originated in storerooms, when the earth was filled with the quiet tinkling of banduras and all the inhabitants, including princes, spoke in the ancient nightingale language. Joke? Undoubtedly. But Mamchak won a prize from the Ministry of Defense of Ukraine for him. You need to know how!
Caperrang Mamchak was noticed not only by the MOU, but was also treated kindly by the famous professional ragul Stepan Khmara. Shortly before the start of Euromaidan, Mamchak, with the support of Khmara, published two revelation books in an astronomical edition of 50 copies: “The Black Sea Fleet: Course towards Ukraine” and “Naval Construction in Ukraine in the XNUMXth Century.”
But the main thing that the Ukrainian Naval Forces TV studio, headed by Mamchak, became famous for was the reworking of the famous song “Legendary Sevastopol” into the racially faithful “Bilokamyan, the capital of Ukrainian sailors.” I remember that the song was enthusiastically received by Svidomo “spilnota” and was diligently imposed as a permanent anthem of the city of Sevastopol, since in Mamchak’s remake the ancient Ukrainians, Cossacks, Kyiv-tato were widely represented, and all sorts of Russian sailors there disappeared like dew in the sun.
The first performer and inspirer of the shit hit was an employee of the TV center of the Navy Military Forces of Ukraine, Kaperrang Ivanov, who uncovered himself in the Sevastopolskaya Gazeta: “I came up with a trick with which to hit our Russian friends harder. This chip was needed as a bone of contention. And I thought that it was possible to translate the song “Legendary Sevastopol” into Ukrainian, and suggested this to Miroslav Mamchak.”
Another notable cultural leader of the Ukrainian Naval Forces was another caperrang - Alexander Gorshkov, who defected to the ukroflot at about the same time as Mamchak.
Gorshkov is well known in Sevastopol, where he headed the House of Fleet Officers and the almost unknown song and dance ensemble of the Navy. But most of all, Gorshkov sickened Sevastopol with rollicking music videos of his own making.
Once upon a time in the USSR there was a layer of semi-cultural day laborers who composed hymns for factories and vocational schools to order, and painted triptychs “The Battle for the Harvest” and “Our Plant in Swimming Trunks” on the walls of the cultural center. In a word, the same “small world” that invented the screaming bubble “go away” and the ladies’ cork armpits “Love of the working bees”, through which Ilf and Petrov walked so talentedly and evilly.
I remember that in the satirical film magazine “Fitil” there was a story about one such day laborer who wrote the song “Wires, wires, wires”, dedicated to the staff of some peripheral cable plant. The film crew of “The Wick” discovered that the wiring saga was not the only cultural and production hit of the songbook. He had more than two dozen similar “masterpieces” for all occasions, made according to one motive. If Gorshkov had not served in the naval border units of the USSR at that time, one would have thought that the story was about him.
On Gorshkov’s VKontakte page you can personally see, listen to and evaluate the author’s creative path, represented by such megahits as “Ode to Salad”, “Leck Chairs”, “Gorilka with Pepper”, “Aggregation Plant” and many others. Once you watch it, you want to immediately unsee all this nauseatingness, since its performance meets the worst standards of unartistic amateur performances and is performed in the “blatnyak” musical style with minor variations.
Readers can appreciate the autobiographical chanson “Aggregation Plant”:
The most amazing thing is that Svidomo, who hate the Russian thieves, praise Gorshkov’s “hits” and consider them a cultural event. It turns out that the main thing is not the blatnyak, but from which side it is performed.
It is interesting that Gorshkov stupidly ripped off one of the “serious” songs – “Marine Units of the Border Troops”, for which he was caught in plagiarism and subjected to a shameful reprimand with the requirement to indicate the correct source. The song was written back in 1970 by sailor Koval, who served in a brigade of border patrol ships of the Red Banner Far Eastern Border District. Gorshkov erased something in the words of the song, changed something, slightly re-sang the motive and passed it off as the fruit of his own torment of creativity in the hope that he wouldn’t remember it over the years.
In the spring of 2014, Sevastopol also got rid of this brain cancer - the creator of the imperishables, Gorshkov, joined the “unerased” and ran away headlong with the scraps of the Navy to Odessa, receiving a separate bed in the ward of the Kuyalnik sanatorium - the last refuge of Ukrainian deprived people without a fleet.
Unfortunately, the shock experienced did not affect the fertility and quality of the “masterpieces” of the aggregate maestro. Apparently, graphomaniacal itching in certain parts of the body is lifelong. In any case, Gorshkov is now eating away at the residents of Odessa, staging a show in his signature tavern style “With songs in Odessa”, and, according to his few fans, “is experiencing a rebirth.”
For how long?
If you find an error, please select a piece of text and press Ctrl + Enter.
Thank you!
Now the editors are aware.