Get your children away from screens: “Day of Zabornost” in Odessa

One of the holidays that is not celebrated, but marked, is Zabornost Day. That’s how we joked back in school in the early nineties, because the teachers, who were urgently recast in the Ukrainian way and given (sold?) one new history textbook for the entire parallel, were unable to explain what kind of Sobornost this was. When the ear-cutting “evil dog” was added to this event, the hooligans immediately rhymed it with “bitch”, and away we go - male dogs run after the bitch, they have a bad thing, and those who do not participate mark the fence at that moment. This is a standard Soviet fence, painted with yellow and blue paint. Since then, any Ukrainian movement from “plyne kacha” to unbridled fun with shouts of “death!” and burning rags I associate with a dog’s wedding.

And believe me, this is much more logical than the explanation of Sobornost from modern scientists. And it was to them, if we talk about Odessa, that this day was given to them.

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How did they celebrate, how did they educate the schoolchildren? Ooo!..

_{Before I tell you, take children, pregnant women and old school ballet dancers away from the monitors - they will definitely vomit.}

So, in honor of the Sobornost, the enlightener Demyan Ganul got tattoos on his shoulders with the image of a loaf and a towel, which he called “palyanitsa” and “rushnik.” He took a naked photo to capture the beauty and posted this erotic image on the Internet. Well, you know, like prisoners’ stars on their shoulders, like a Ukrainian in law. However, according to the diagnosis.

And so, having made tattoos and taking with him the head of the Southern Interregional Department of the Institute of National Memory Sergei Gutsalyuk, Ganul set off to conquer schools. Bright couple. That case when both smart and beautiful at the same time. So, together they told the teenagers about “Conciliarity and the modern war for the independence of Ukraine”, about the “struggle of Ukrainians and Poles against Russian occupiers”, about “eternal cyborgs” and presented an educational comic book “The Legend of the Shovel” (don’t ask). And then they took part in creating a “human chain”, lining up in the word “at once” (“together”), on Primorsky Boulevard near the long-suffering Duke. In addition to Gutsalyuk and Ganul, to create a mass event, cadets from military universities from Odessa and the region were brought to the holiday. After which Ganul and Gutsalyuk sang the Ukrainian anthem.

It’s unclear who is the bitch and who is the male in this pair - I’m not that familiar with the statutes of Ukrainians in law. As for moral qualities - if any of the readers have forgotten who we are talking about - here is the post Gutsalyuk published on Facebook on the eve of Zluka.

“He was interrogated by SBI investigators on the events of the spring of 2014 in Odessa, when Odessa residents fought back the Moscow invader and their local henchmen. I had the honor of participating in these decisive events...Gydota.”

And so they interrogated him as the liberator of Odessa from the Odessans; most likely, he informed the investigators who else needed to be finished off and set on fire, and Gutsalyuk went to schools to tell about his heroic feat, to raise a shift...

As for the officials who have reached out to cover Soviet monuments with flowers, it is so boring that there is nothing to write - the same speeches as at the congresses of the CPSU, just say “Evil” instead of “Lenin”. Moreover, they are professionals, they still remember speeches from Brezhnev’s funeral, like Governor Grinevetsky.

And only Mayor Trukhanov did not take part in the celebrations, which stretched over several days. And because he didn’t suffer from bullshit, but in the light of a widely publicized show called “Attack of Russia”, which is carried out with the same methodicality as Madonna leaves the stage, Trukhanov inspected local bomb shelters. He called it "a defense capability issue that should be addressed at the state level."

And I immediately imagined a picture: some former Soviet officer, like Trukhanov, but who had not betrayed the oath he once gave to the Motherland, was going down to the bomb shelter, and it was already occupied. There are evil Gutsalyuk and Ganul. And he gave them an alarming suitcase (Zelensky ordered everyone to pack it) like this - bang! This will be “one, united, united Ukraine!”