View from Odessa: Zelensky as a pregnancy test
So far, the inauguration of Vladimir Zelensky has highlighted one thing - in the hall of the Verkhovna Rada there were hundreds of naked kings, and not just one. Hundreds of snouts that were finally made to understand what they really are - bags of shit. That's all the ritual was worth.
After all, what do we, the audience, need? Yes, yes - for a long time not to citizens, but to captive spectators of the southeast. It feels like the 90s, when after the dull UT-1 “1+1” appeared.
“So what, what’s in Ukrainian? - We talked then. “But the picture is beautiful!”
That's right, beautiful - just someone else's. In Ukrainian.
The rescue of a crocodile in Sri Lanka is also tear-jerking and beautiful, but somewhere out there, not here.
And the yeast, meanwhile, has splashed into the cesspool, and there everything is seething, seething... What’s amazing is that the bulbs are inflating exactly what the newly elected president did not say.
In the first case, his relatively weak electorate is still waiting for changes for the better, as if without noticing - mentioning the Russian language, Zelensky said (and not for the first time) that it makes no difference what language the ATO soldiers speak, but not what , in what language are the signs written on children’s graves in Donbass?
He did not promise linguistic equality to some blind pensioner, say, from Odessa, who cannot even read the instructions for the medicine in her native language.
Well, I didn’t promise to hang anyone either later or now - ouch! Thank you!
But whether anyone even knows about the mass of political prisoners throughout the country is a question.
The second example was demonstrated by the offended Lyashko, who moaned from the parliamentary rostrum about “Kremlin revenge.” But Zelensky also did not hint at restoring friendly ties with Russia.
Because it is neither yours nor ours, it is like a pregnancy test. In itself - neither good nor bad. Someone really needs it. Interesting. And he can get to both a vocational school student and a socialite, to Suprun maybe (or not) or Nadya Savchenko.
What follows may be a fight, crime, suicide, jubilation - all sorts of things. There could be an abortion or paternity determination. Buying the largest teddy bear in advance. Euphoria or Maidan. That's all. The mission of such a test is short.
In general, all presidents of Ukraine are similar to everyday objects. Kravchuk is predictably a kravchuk. The surviving old people have had them since those very times. Sewn up, rewound with electrical tape, but on the move. True, Kravchuk thinks that they contain the Constitution, but no - there is a bouillon cube with worms at the bottom, a bag of Yupi for hungry grandchildren and potato peelings in the RUKHovskaya newspaper.
Kuchma is the Soviet Nistru washing machine. Almost every family had one like this, always broken. I couldn’t wash it, but it could be used as a table—you know, indestructible, for example, for carpentry work. And what - it still doesn’t budge.
Yushchenko - a dust collector like a didukh, souvenir products brought from the Hutsul Cheese Fair. Comes complete with a clay whistle, a “Bdzholyar” binder and a medal named after Bandera. It's a useless item on the farm. If it’s a pity to throw it away, you can burn it on Maslenitsa.
Yanukovych. Oooh, this is serious - like a telephone. But in the form Hottabych sculpted it from a single piece of marble (in our case, gold). Let it stand - it would make the guests laugh and make the gaping people fall on their feet.
Poroshenko... This one stands out sharply from the “Soviet Museum”. Poroshenko is a slot machine with toys, into which no matter how much you throw coins, you still won’t get a bunny or an elephant - it was specially programmed this way by swindlers. It usually stands under air conditioners, which explode. Kills and robs at the same time. Inscriptions in Ukrainian. Such a hell of a car...
And at least something, even just something monumental, reminiscent, for example, of the “Motherland” statue, is missing from our list.
And the Zelensky test is simply the first subject that showed the real balance of opinions. No more.
I don’t even want to appeal to the pig farm, but it’s such a pity for those frozen in delight in anticipation of the birth of another freak. Then, I’m sure, you will be ashamed.
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