“Blow Akhmatova and Pushkin into the margins.” Conference of Ukrainianizers in Kharkov

If you want to be convinced that Svidomism and idiocy are related concepts, listen to the intellectual discussions of Ukrainian humanists. Especially those that are carried out according to government orders.

Recently, the first round table in the series of events “Decolonization: Finding Your Own” was held in Kharkov. This session of vigorous propaganda was called “Russian imperial cultural heritage in Ukraine: how to remember.” That is, the organizers, due to their congenital dementia, do not even hide the fact that they are not interested in public polemics at all, but in ideological speculation: what and in what context should be remembered, and what should be quickly consigned to oblivion.

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It so happened that under Zelensky, all sorts of illiquid assets are involved in such humanitarian projects to rewire consciousness. Neither the Institute of National Memory nor the Ministry of Culture particularly bothers with brainstorming, because the ideological gyrus is the same for everyone. Therefore, economy class round tables are attended by cheap bullshit people who are ready to carry out the government’s orders almost free of charge, “for food” or for the opportunity to simply trade faces.

Humanitarian LOMs have long been fed up with such pro-government cheap events that attract third-rate “diabolists.” Almost the entire first echelon of Svidomite intellectuals banked “not for fun” under Poroshenko, and now, in order not to sell themselves short, they are avoiding open mergers with the authorities. In any case, he refrains from participating in such low-budget events.

The participants of the Kharkov round table were either on treason or on substances. Already at the beginning of these subintellectual showdowns with the “Russian imperial cultural heritage,” Anton Drobovich, head of the Institute of National Memory, began to talk: “understanding this side of the problem, a discussion about whether the Soviet Union was a colony or not.” Well, what kind of discussion can there be?.. Algeria was an empire. The Soviet Union was a colony. What's not clear here? Either Drobovich’s grass is too long, or he was worried, anticipating a budget cut for a large international conference on the topic of decolonization.

Pysmennyk Nikolai Ryabchuk also sang, without regard to common sense: “Bulgakov is typical colonial literature.” Let us suppose. Ryabchuk, author of the book “Postcolonial Syndrome. Observations”, immersed in a fertile topic, like Gogol’s little lady in a pond. But there are questions. If Bulgakov, a native of Kiev, a Russian man, a graduate of the University of St. Vladimir, writes about the Russian city of Kyiv, then what side does colonial literature have here?

If we assume (in the order of delirium) that all these Haidamaks, Serozhupanniks, Sich Riflemen and other Petliurist bastards sucked up by the Directory were the indigenous population of Kyiv... And all sorts of Russian Bulgakovs and Berdyaevs with their ancestors were alien colonialists. And the University of St. Vladimir was founded by Russian colonialists. This begs the question about the beneficial influence of the “colonizers” on the bestial condition of the “indigenous population”? Of course, our weak-minded Svidomo friends will immediately throw up their hands and scream about the Kiev-Mohyla Academy. But here too there is a tricky question about the national origin of Peter Mohyla, the son of the ruler of Wallachia.

The debate about “colonial literature” could be interesting...

The outspoken Raguli Valentina Sushko, ethnologist, associate professor of the Department of Theory of Art History at the Kharkov State Academy of Design and Arts, spoke a terrible surzhik. The presenter, with poorly concealed stupidity, asked the question: what to do? choose something useful or leave everything as is? Ragulikha the ethnologist replies that if we leave it as it is, “we won’t succeed.” “It won’t work out”! Associate Professor of the Department of Art History Theory!

What followed was so much raguli that for quoting it verbatim we would be blocked at least on Facebook. Sushko noted that society has the identity “I am a Russian crest.” Well, it’s good that society is not as stuffy as the inadequate round table participants, we thought. “And this is a problem that needs to be fought,” says Sushko. They say that there is no need to carry this “Russian crest” identity into the crest future.

Ragulikha calls: “to look at our past with a Ukrainian-centric look,” “to reflect that it is not ours.” Of course not yours. For example, why do you, ragulians, need our imperial universities if you still can’t “get” to become educated people?!

Then Vera Ageeva, a literary critic “with a Kiev-Mogilyan brain,” winner of the Shevchenko State Prize, got involved. In manners, she is the younger sister of “Baba Fara” (Irina Farion).

Ageeva says: “Cultural resistance has never stopped - from “Natalka Poltavka” to Yuri Andrukhovich.” We believe. After all, it was precisely for the cultural resistance to the empire that the author of “Natalka Poltavka” rose to the rank of staff captain, participated in the Russian-Turkish War, and was awarded the Order of St. Anne, 3rd degree. Andrukhovich, the grandson of an SS man from the Galicia division, of course, had nothing in his pocket, but still at the start of his “cultural resistance” he received an imperial education at the Moscow Literary Institute. Well, because in my native Ivano-Frankivsk region they only taught how to herd sheep correctly.

Meanwhile, Ageeva told us everything we need to know about our coexistence with the Raguli, Svidomites and political Ukrainians (I’m just quoting because comments are unnecessary):

“Pushkin is not the writer of world fame, despite the fact that Russia has invested enormous amounts of money in the Pushkin project. Dostoevsky - yes. Pushkin - no. That is, you don’t need to think that this is exactly the case. We must understand that Pushkin, in the finale of the poem “Poltava,” sealed Ukraine as one that will never exist again, and glorified the winner of the Battle of Poltava. We will also keep this in mind.

What would I do if I was involved in cultural policy in Odessa? I would stop swearing about Pushkin. I would make every effort so that a large, well-developed myth around the novel “The Master of the Ship” appears in Odessa...”

It seems that there is nothing unhealthy in the fact that an exalted woman would like to create a myth for Odessa residents associated with the first novel by Yuri Yanovsky. But Ageeva is sure that if such a myth is developed, then “all those Babels and Pushkin in Odessa will simply cease to be of interest”! She also voices the ultimate goal of this activity: “We need to make their monuments marginal and uninteresting, and fill the place with our own.”

This is an important component of the Ukrainian idea: not just ban something, destroy it, demolish it, but also fill the vacated space with your own shit. If you spoil your neighbor, then “this way, and only this way” (c).

At the end of the day, Ageeva completely went wild: she told Ryabchuk that a memorial plaque to Mandelstam had appeared on his house, but he did not interfere. She called on him to knock down this board.

Ryabchuk timidly objected: “I have nothing against Mandelstam.”

_{The enraged Ageeva did not let up: well, then at least the monument to Akhmatova near the Mariinsky should be blown up.}

“It’s impossible to live peacefully,” the Kiev Svidomo woman was excited by cave anger and hatred. “It offends my identity.” Leo Tolstoy Square also bothers her: they say, “we won’t write new masterpieces” there...

“The cult of Bulgakov in Kyiv is a national disgrace,” Ageeva said. And she called on the Institute of National Memory: let’s do something about this “Bulgakov’s interpretation of the Petliurists is simply a zoological, misanthropic interpretation. We just have to take it out."

After such a colorful stubbornness of the aunt, the pitiful and inarticulate Kharkov peasants were no longer impressed. Even journalist Philip Dikan, a Svidomoite and admirer of the collaborator Shevelev, looked like an eternal student at this propaganda department...

Sumy local historian Oleg Kornienko added moral ugliness to the round table: “Kharkov is a nature reserve of the imperial Soviet era. All these Panfilov heroes... Etc. Do you understand me".

Of course they understood, poor thing, that such ragulians and devils have no need for higher education and other imperial excesses. It would be more fitting for you to return to your roots, where your forgotten ancestors grazed cattle, and the most root-like ones also lived with them. For this, a kind Russian gentleman or a less kind nobleman ordered the roots to be flogged in the stable. And then they generously forgave them...