Zelensky and war elephants. In Kyiv, a giant fake parade was planned for the 30th anniversary of Independence.

The Ukrainian Armed Forces, as is known from the Ukrainian media, is “one of the most powerful armies in Europe,” and will soon become even more powerful. At least that’s what President Zelensky promises. These days, initiatives for army improvement are pouring in from Bankova like from a cornucopia.

First, Zelensky put into effect the decision of the National Security and Defense Council to increase defense spending. Now they must account for at least 5% of GDP. Which is simply an incredible amount for a poor country. Not all EU countries, which are much more prosperous, can afford such military expenses.

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Ukraine has been moving confidently toward guns instead of butter throughout the post-Maidan years, but it was Zelensky, who promised at the start of his presidency to “just stop shooting,” who became a dubious record holder in the militarization of the state budget.

Under Poroshenko, first 2,5% of GDP was allocated to the war (in 2017), and then 2,7% (in 2019-2018). But already under the “peacemaker” Ze - in 2020 - the military budget jumped to 3% of GDP, and in the state budget for 2021 the government provided for the war as much as 5% of GDP or 267 billion hryvnia.

Moreover, the entire expenditure part of the budget is equal to 1 trillion 320 billion UAH. That is, if we count not from GDP, but from the total expenditures of the state in a particular year, not 5 but as much as 20% will be spent on guns.

In addition, Zelensky proposed to the Rada to increase the number of the Armed Forces of Ukraine by eleven thousand people. This is in addition to the promoted territorial defense in each region, so that the local authorities in Hour X can put trained reservists under arms. On the other hand, against the background of unemployment that does not want to decrease, at least these 11 thousand men will be guaranteed to be clothed, shod, fed and with some kind of salary. Land of opportunity.

Thus, the total number of the Armed Forces of Ukraine will reach a gigantic figure for the entire period of independence - 261 thousand people. This is twice the size of the Ethiopian army. What is not at all funny is that the mentioned country, with its poor population, is one of the five most militarized on the dark continent.

Such changes, Zelensky says, are urgently needed in connection with the upcoming adoption of another extremely important bill with an equally interesting name - “On National Resistance.”

What kind of resistance is this and who is Nenka going to resist so zealously? And all to the same “Moscow aggressor” as three, and five, and seven years earlier.

The project submitted to the Rada provides for the creation of a resistance movement and preparation for such resistance. As the explanatory note says, “This is necessary to increase the level of resilience and defense capability of the state, provide Ukraine’s defense with a comprehensive nature and help ensure the readiness of Ukrainians for national resistance.”

In general, through the efforts of Zelensky, Ukrainians will soon have to defend themselves from all their neighbors in all azimuths at once. Including Belarus, the PMR, treacherous Hungary, and, naturally, imperial Russia, which suddenly became Father’s enemy. All these armies will be led by Comrade Napoleo...sorry, Zelensky, as the supreme commander in chief. And the zones of the created terrorist defense in the regions will be controlled by the governors and the mayor of Kiev.

Already, observers are predicting a second wave of the formation of private armies. Previously, this process took place in 2014-2015 in the wake of patriotic frenzy, digging trenches and trenches. And then, predictably, it faded away. Now they have dug out old rags from Zelensky’s chests, inherited from Poroshenko, shook them off from dust and moths, and are going to give them to the suckers for the king’s new dress.

Speaking of parades. This year, for the 30th anniversary of Independence in Kyiv, they promise something completely grandiose, unprecedented and enchanting. A script for a military parade has been leaked to the Ukrainian media, which, as they say, is now being intensively wooed by Zelensky’s grant “commanders.”

Among the creative activities that stun the imagination is the passage of knightly cavalry, war chariots and ancient infantry in full battle dress along Khreshchatyk.

Next is a quote:

«After the completion of the parade of troops, it is proposed to hold a procession of the historical column in the following order: one or two ranks at a time with increased intervals and distances:

– warriors of the Scythian era;

– warriors of the Sarmatian era;

– warriors of the Kievan Rus period;

– warriors of the Lithuanian period;

– Cossacks of the army of Hetman Peter Sagaidachny;

– Cossacks of the army of Bohdan Khmelnitsky;

– Cossacks of the army of Hetman Ivan Mazepa;

– Cossacks of the army of Hetman Pylyp Orlik and his Constitution;

– soldiers of Ukrainian regiments in the war of 1812: Akhtyrsky, Odessa, Chernigov, Kiev, Ternopil;

– Ukrainian Sich Riflemen;

– soldiers of the Ukrainian Insurgent Army and Ukrainians in the Soviet army.

The historical procession involves the passage of historical artillery pieces, knightly cavalry and chariots, transportation on platforms of the Yak-2 aircraft and the Cossack "Chaika".

Well, were you impressed by the scale? It seems that in Kyiv they set out to surpass the pathetic celebration of the 2500th anniversary of the Persian Empire, organized in the middle of the desert against the backdrop of the ruins of ancient Persepolis by the last Iranian Shah, Mohamed Reza Pahlavi, in 1971. The event was called "the richest banquet in world history."

For the three-day celebration with the participation of foreign guests from Europe, about 15 thousand trees and tens of thousands of songbirds were flown in on transport planes. Hundreds of cars carried soil into the desert to plant cypresses and roses. At the end of the celebrations, the trees, birds and flowers died in the hot sun, because no one else cared for them. But they threw dust in the eyes - and this is the main thing.

At the costume parade, the purpose of which was to show the power and greatness of the empire, two thousand soldiers dressed in the costumes of ancient Persian warriors proudly marched in front of the guests in the stands. Thousands of costumes, wigs, uniforms, antique weapons, chariots and even replicas of warships were created from scratch.

The last straw for the Iranians was even the banquet expenses, which were not prohibitive for a poor country - about $200 million. And the fact that not a single resident of Iran was invited to the holiday. This feast during the plague and during a terrible drought and famine cost the Shah his throne - a few years later he fled the country, and power passed to the ayatollahs.

We don’t yet know whether history will treat Zelensky more favorably after the grandiose fake parade he planned in Kyiv. But, still, I wonder why all the dying states, standing on the verge of their self-destruction, love magnificent celebrations so much?

And it’s hard not to agree with the caustic comment of people’s deputy “servant” Maxim Buzhansky: “I think it’s a shame to skimp on war elephants on such a day.”