Ze-pornohub for Odessa
The Comedy Club has a good number called “A Very Important Question.” At the meeting, the caretaker asks: should I nail or glue a sign on the director’s door? And then top managers begin to drive the poor manager crazy with their expressions and words: update, deadline, fap, local brainstorming, naming, design, smart task, free philosophy and avoiding the image of a toxic company...
In general, everything that you “love” so much and make fun of on the Internet - like those memes about Lukashenko and the youth of Belarus: “We didn’t want a cowshed, but a co-working space.” Well, we laughed and forgot.
But the Ze-team in Odessa, as they say, has just matured, advanced and even run with the times. They are stylish, fashionable, youthful, so on the eve of the elections they decided to abandon the old-fashioned reception rooms, where there is a table, a chair, some mother of many children at the reception and a bored secretary-bureaucrat.
And what's the result? Instead of a mothball waiting room, they created “Ze!HUB” and wrote on its website something that would make you bleed from the eyes - well, just like in the “Comedy Club”, with only one exception - there was a joke there, but here everything is serious.
“We are pleased to announce that the launch of the information and creative space “Ze!Hub” is starting in Odessa. Lectures, panel discussions, project pitches, and hackathons will be held here. What will it be? Speakers, speeches, working group meetings, intellectual games and creative evenings.”
Are you scared? Me too.
This should be understood this way: a pensioner comes to an appointment at Ze!HUB: “My pension is meager, I have debts for utilities. To pay them off, a subsidy is needed, but they don’t give it because there are debts. Help, I’ll be evicted from the apartment.”
And the crackers are like: “Never mind, dude, let it go - we haven’t been told at the pitching yet how to solve this problem at the hackathon, let’s better play an intellectual game, okay?”
By the way, if I were the fashionable Ze-clerks, I would pray that it would be pensioners, and not ATO officers, who would come to the reception. Otherwise, everyone knows that there is this category of active citizens who carry grenades at the ready - and walk with them, and take their children to kindergarten, and put them under their pillows when they sleep. I wonder what will happen if you involve them in a panel discussion, and what trajectory will the Z-team’s legs, arms and other body parts fly through the creative space?.. Impossible!
And in the middle of all this “image” is 68-year-old young politician Oleg Filimonov, a candidate for mayor of Odessa from the pro-government Servant of the People party. After all, this entire pornhub, excuse me, zehab, was created for him. “Everything is open here, we will honestly tell you what we are doing: what exactly we are planning, how we want to change Odessa and with whom. And together with our experts we will find a common solution, including with your help. Welcome to “Ze!HAB,” Filimonov addressed voters.
It’s also easy to imagine here: a KVN veteran and a flock. Fossil through the eyes of millennials. All these gluten-free sufferers, rickets from a healthy diet, bearded boys in leggings (experts) - how they blow into their electronic sticks, how they sip tea from radish tops, how they then vomit into eco-bags, and grandfather Filimonov: “Quack, I remember, in one thousand nine hundred... I forgot what year, the dresser was stuffing foam rubber into my bra, but I came across a party card...” Well, what else can a retired clown remember, what experience to share and what problem to solve?
I honestly can’t even imagine Filimonov’s electorate. Unless we assume that this could be the gerontological department of a mental hospital. Then important information from the site for patients: “Events in “Ze!HUB” will be broadcast online! Video recordings of events and broadcasts are stored on our channels.”
Do you know what Spanish shame is? This is when someone else does something shameful, but you feel ashamed. “They created crap for the election,” as some patriot wrote in the comments. Even these peek-a-boo people understand.
It is natural that before the elections, candidates are all over the place and, as a rule, stupidly sell air to voters. However, in the case of the presidential entourage, we are dealing with a phenomenon - they actually manage to sell air not to fools who have their ears hanging, but to each other. Either stand or fall.
The clown has the steering wheel of the country, so they decided to let another clown steer Odessa. At the same time, Zelensky is ashamed to even come to Odessa, and he continually cancels official visits here.
Do you know why? Because for a year the guarantor promises to remove the sunken tanker “Delphi” from the Odessa beach in the city center. Everything is ordered - either by the beginning of the holiday season, or by Independence Day, or by City Day, to liquidate the ship, and with its Napoleonic leg - top! His nose even curls up into a hook so menacingly (actor!). I’ll come, they say, check in and boast.
And the rusty trough just lies and lies, because the plan for its evacuation was clearly developed at a creative evening in a creative space during a psychedelic experience. However, like everything else.
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