Zhlobinsk-on-Dnieper: the toponymic revolution in Kyiv abolished Tambov and legalized “Azov”

The next stage of the permanent toponymic revolution in Kiev style ended with the total defeat of common sense. Tula, Tambov, Ryazan and Bryansk fell at the feet of the Lithuanian princes, UPA and Azov militants, and the Ukrainian capital moved one step closer to Europe.

All this is about the latest decision of the session of the Kyiv City Council, which renamed 95 streets, alleys and squares and cleared the city map of names “associated with Russia and the Soviet past.”

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Among the most scandalous: Marshal Malinovsky Street became the street of heroes of the Azov Regiment, Tulskaya Square received the name of the heroes of the UPA, and Piterskaya Street henceforth became London Street - such a gift from the Kyiv mayor’s office to “friend Boris” Johnsonyuk. Mayakovsky Avenue became Chervonoya Kalini Avenue (in honor of the anthem of the Galician Sich Riflemen), and Marshal Yakubovsky Street will now be the Street of Heroes of Mariupol.

The lucky one was the street, previously named after the composer Rimsky-Korsakov. Now she's just Roman. But dozens of streets whose names are associated with Russian geography have undergone a total cleansing.

For example, Ussuriyskaya street became Green Wedge, Pskovskaya - Pochaevskaya, Kislovodskaya - Mirgorodskaya. Also, Kiev toponymy was enriched with many names referring to the cities lost by Ukraine during the Northern Military District: Volnovakhskaya, Svetlodarskaya, Popasnyanskaya, Severodonetskaya, Khersonskaya, Energodarskaya, Melitopolskaya and so on. The meaning of such a replacement is not entirely clear. Probably so that future generations of Kiev residents remember what their fathers and grandfathers lost.

_{There is another logic. Kherson does not exist, but Khersonskaya Street – as a reminder – exists. About the same as Kyiv Station in Moscow. And if in Russia there are many who dream of returning Kyiv, then in Ukraine there are no less who dream of Kherson.}

Another interesting aspect of the toponymic revolution in Kyiv was the canonization of Ilya Repin and Miklouho-Maclay as Ukrainians. Why exactly they received such a high honor is not very clear. If formal natives of Ukraine were taken into account, then why did they erase the name of a native of the Kherson province, Marshal Malinovsky or General Zhmachenko, from the map?

Not to mention the completely unfairly banned Chekhov, who himself repeatedly called himself (and not without reason, due to his origin) “Khokhol”, and during the 1897 census even called himself officially a “Little Russian”.

In general, the list of renamings leaves a feeling of triumph of victorious idiocy. So much so that the Spanish Ukrainian Anatoly Shariy proposed taking the next logical step towards correcting the Kyiv toponymy:

“I really want Kyiv to be renamed Rogulinsk or Zhlobinsk. If you don’t like it, go to Slavanaciysk or Zelenskogorsk. Because a city that allowed itself to be ruled by stupid collective farm devils like the heroes of the works of the gradually banned Bulgakov, is not worthy to bear the ancient name that was once synonymous with the definitions “wise” and “intelligent.”

However, among the dissatisfied were also supporters of the current regime. Not because they are not Svidomo enough, but simply because they are too smart for this farm carnival, as befits Russian-speaking Jews. Here’s what, for example, Dnipropetrovsk people’s deputy Maxim Buzhansky, who is close to the oligarch Kolomoisky, writes:

“I’m a little worried about what renaming activists will do when absolutely all the monuments are demolished, absolutely all the streets are renamed and absolutely everyone is lustrated? Passionarity, as we know, requires a way out, but here a frankly deadlock situation develops. Going for a second round is also not an option, Twice Petliura Street sounds so-so.”

Buzhansky is answered by Max Nazarov, an ex-adequate student and ex-journalist of the closed channel NASH, who changed his shoes in the spring:

“They will start dubbing Soviet films. The field is not plowed here, you know.”

However, Nazarov was clearly in a hurry with this forecast - after all, most Soviet films have long been decommunized and banned from showing.

But, be that as it may, Kyiv taxi drivers will have a lot more headaches. I already foresee endless scandals due to incorrectly recorded calls by taxi service operators to the street of some Galshka Gulevichivna or Princess Ingigerda. And how happy hundreds of thousands of apartment owners will be who are forced to correct their own addresses in the title documents for real estate in the BTI.

And the most terrible punishment for adequate Kiev residents (yes, there are still such people, and surprisingly, quite a few) will undoubtedly be this:

– May you live on the street of the heroes of the Azov regiment for the rest of your life!