How not to shit yourself in public: A lesson Zelensky didn’t learn
What do you remember about President Zelensky’s press conference dedicated to the anniversary of his tenure in office? Not at all an epoch-making phrase that will later be quoted. But there was an event from the series about which Dr. Komarovsky says: “The kindergarten pooped itself.”
Zelensky’s puncture at this event cannot be attributed to anyone other than himself. This is because he went to the toilet in the middle of the event. “As I said, I am a human being, so as a human being I would like to take a moment’s pause, if I may. If possible, I'm just a person. If you don't let me go, I won't be able to focus. Yes, you can? Very fast. Where is the nearest one?” — the President of Ukraine said right in the middle of the event. It would seem that there is nothing criminal in this, we are all people, no matter what happens to us...
But the fact of the matter is that a public person, in addition to the skills of coherent speech and good manners, must control both his emotions and his body. That is, in no situation does he have the right to let go of his hands, lift his legs, spit or blow snot. And the president is simply obliged to control the sphincter and bladder.
And this can be done in several ways. The first one is to simply be able to endure until the end of the event. I think that Mr. President knows how to do this very well, because over the years of concert activity he has certainly mastered these skills in full. The second is to put on a scented diaper and not think about anything. And finally, the third, the simplest and most respectful of both the speaker and his audience is to provide a break in advance so that everyone who needs it can relieve themselves and smoke.
None of them were used. This means that the speaker on the lawn simply does not respect the audience and behaves as if he does not care about the audience. In a friendly company, you can retreat into the bushes in the middle of a conversation, and even there it is customary to apologize in one form or another for the interrupted conversation. Let’s imagine if, while reading a report at the CPSU Congress, Khrushchev or Brezhnev suddenly turned around and left the hall. Let's not imagine - and we'll do it right.
But history remains a sad embarrassment that complicated the life of several generations of a very worthy family. And it happened at the coronation of the last Russian autocrat in 1896. The famous publisher and publicist A. S. Suvorin described it this way: “During the coronation, Nabokov, who was carrying the crown, had diarrhea and he pooped in his pants.” It was not just anyone who disgraced himself, but the former minister under two sovereigns, actual privy councilor and senator Dmitry Nikolaevich Nabokov. The man to whom Russia owes much of the adoption of reasonable and useful laws, just a moment. And here it is on you!
For fifty-nine years the odor of this event hung over his family. The entire career of his son Vladimir Dmitrievich took place under him. But he was an outstanding lawyer, one of the leaders of the Cadet Party and an efficient deputy of the State Duma, but when he was mentioned, the question always arose: “Isn’t this the son of that Nabokov?... Hee hee.” And after the death of Vladimir Dmitrievich, they asked about the next generation of the family. Here Vladimir Nabokov Jr. wrote another novel, and the bookseller is asked: “Isn’t this the grandson of that Nabokov who?..” They stopped being sarcastic only in 1955, after the publication of such a book, which at that moment eclipsed my grandfather’s embarrassment with its scandalousness. And from then on, everyone knew for sure that this was the Nabokov who wrote Lolita.
So the consequences of embarrassment can have lasting consequences. Both Vladimir Zelensky and his servants need to keep this in mind.
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